Can you remember a time when you were eating out of control? When you weren’t actually hungry but you kept stuffing food into your face anyway?
I can… It was this past Saturday.
It was an “all you can eat” situation at an outdoor festival and I PIGGED out. I got so full and bloated that I started jokingly sticking out my stomach and asking my friends if they wanted to feel the baby kick.
Yes, I hide my shame behind humor, just like you.
Now what happened? Why was I so out of control? Was it a lack of willpower? That’s what most people think to themselves: “I just need more willpower.”
But willpower is a lie. Think about it. Do you really believe in some magical force inside of you that you can somehow conjure up to make you do the things you don’t want to do?
We do things for REASONS, not because of magical forces like “willpower.”
We have internal reasons and external reasons. External reasons are things like wanting a promotion or fearing someone’s negative opinion of you. Internal reasons are things like your values and beliefs about life.
BOTH the internal and external are important, but consider this…
Bucky Fuller (arguably one of the smartest thinkers in the world) said that “environment is stronger than willpower.” What he meant is that if the forces that surround you are pushing you in one direction, it’s extremely difficult to sustain the inner motivation to go in a different direction.
For example, if you’re trying to eat healthy and you’re surrounded by all-you-can-eat desserts and fried food, it’s going to be very difficult to stay on the healthy path.
So you want to align the external forces in your life to point you in the direction of your goals. When you do that, you almost don’t even need inner motivation. Life will move you forward naturally.
I like to call these external forces STRUCTURES.
So what happened to me on Saturday that I “lost control” of my eating choices?
I didn’t have strong structures to support me. There was no lack of structures, of course. But they were pushing me in the direction of overeating:
- Peer structures: All around me people were eating and drinking to excess.
- Financial structures: There was no extra cost for eating more, and no savings for eating less.
- Linguistic structures: Phrases like “get your money’s worth” and “all you can eat” created a positive connotation for over-consumption.
Now before I make too big a deal about this, let me acknowledge that, yes, it was just one day. I don’t eat like that every day. But that’s the point.
Why don’t I eat like that every day? Partly because of my values and beliefs, yes.
But another big reason (maybe even BIGGER reason according to Bucky Fuller) is because of the structures I’ve consciously chosen to support a healthier way of life.
Here are some examples:
- I only keep healthy foods in the house. This makes it harder to eat unhealthy because it means an extra trip out to go get the junk food.
- I have several standard meals I love to eat that are also very healthy. I don’t have to struggle with the question “What am I going to eat?” at every meal. It’s easy to make a healthy choice.
- I often use a “100 Days” structure where I commit to some habit or way of living for 100 days and I blog about it. It makes my goals public, so people will see me whenever I “cheat.” I can’t hide.
- I often seek support from a coach or mentor. This is someone who can help me through the challenging times when my choices seem murky or confusing.
- I follow proven programs and strategies (whether it’s an exercise program, dietary guidelines, or a deliberate stress-reducing practice like meditation). It’s a simple matter of following the steps, which takes a lot of the anxiety and doubt out of the experience.
Can you see how all of these structures support me in my goal to eat healthy? And how much more difficult it would be without them?
Here are some questions for you to consider:
- What are your favorite structures that support you in living the way you want to live?
- What structures tend to steer you off track and away from your goal?
- Where in your life are you stalled and not making the progress you want to be making?
- Where in your life do you feel out of control?
Email me your answers to these questions and I would be happy to suggest structures that will support you in pursuing your goals with greater ease and flow.
©2012 Curtis G. Schmitt